Sigh

So here I am 10 days into my cycle and I called my cryobank to place my order.  Imagine my suprise when the lady tells me there are only 6 vials of my donor left, and not in the prepartion I need!!! I would need two vials for a cycle which means I only have 3 trys to give Baylor a full sibling.  When I called in April they had 23 vials of the right stuff and they cannot tell me what happened to it.  Donor 2623 has not donated since 2006 and there is no chance to get more.  I hung up the phone crying and called my nurse for help.  She helped me figure out what we need to do and I called the bank back and ordered all 6.  If I don't use them I can sell them back to them.  I hate crying at work and that is what I did for over an hour.  I could not even call Lori because she was on her way back from her parents with her mom in the car and would not have been able to talk about it. 
I know I can pick another donor if I need to and I know genes don't make a family.  I know I am hung up on a full sibling for my son because part of me feels I have already taken away his 'dad' and I wanted him to have someone else in the world he is related to when I am gone.  If we decide to change donors and continue trying, I will be fine with that.  If we decide to stop trying and have an only child, I am fine with that. If we decide to stop trying and try to adopt, I am fine with that.  But I need to exhaust my first option before I can mentally move on to the next option.  So much to think about.