Funeral

Today we took Baylor to his second funeral.  The first was when he was about two weeks old and my grandpa had passed.  Lori and I had been talking to him about what was going to happen and tried not to sugar coat anything.  Just the facts needed for a three year old to understand.  I started with asking him if he remembered when Grandma and Buddy's dogs died and we did not see them anymore.  And when the fish died we buried them and put a stone over them? Well, my grandma had died and they were going to put her in a special bed, have a service at the Church, and bury her in the box in the ground.  He first offered that we can share his grandma.  I thanked him and said that his grandma is my mom and of course we can share.  And then he pick up on an opportunity to dig a big hole.  I told him someone would do that for us.  Then he decided we would have to fill up the hole and we should bring our shovels.  Again I explained someone would do that for us too.  I knew I was taking all the fun out of things but I did not want his hopes dashed.  Grandma did not want an open casket funeral but because of some family comments at Grandpa's funeral Dad decided to have a viewing for only close family for a half hour.  We explained Grandma would look like she was sleeping in a special bed and then they would close the lid and it would look like a box.  The last few days he has been asking about going to see her and make sure my grandma was dead and . 

Friday the service started at 2:00 but the viewing was at 1:00 to 1:30.  Baylor did really well seeing her and asked some questions and then he was done, ready to go home.  It took a lot of convincing to keep him there, relatively quite, not running up and down the aisles.  Bethany United Methodist in Red Lion has been the family church for as long as I can remember.  My grandparents were very active in the church and many family events have happened there.

 

 

Grandpa used to pound on my thigh when I was yawning in church.  Not a good memory but it is a strong one unfortunately. 

 

I could not bring myself to take a picture of Grandma. Partly because it did not look like her, she was made up and her hair was styled in a way she never, ever did it.  But she looked really beautiful and I touched her hand to say good bye.  I saw Dad shed a few tears especially after the closed the casket.  The minister never met Grandma and the previous ministers could not attend. 

 

My mom made a memory board and Heather made one also.  They also had a photo collage on to projector screens.  It was nice seeing Grandma when she was young and full of life.  The last three years have been hard on her as her mind drifted into Alzheimer's. 

 

After the grave site service, Baylor asked me if he could finally 'fight' with Connor.  I told them to have at it.  Little boys can only hold still for so long and they need to run.  We went back to the church for a meal and to talk with family and friends.  Baylor had a few bites and ran off to play with Connor, Eli, and Rachel. 

 

Brigid had to join them of course. 

 

 

Jamie drove down from VT yesterday and is staying until Sunday.  We are going to Mom's Saturday and we are spending the night.  We are looking forward to spending time with him. 

 

Eli made Baylor two John Deere fleece pillows as a gift.  Eli has always been drawn to Baylor and I love their friendship. 

 

Baylor and Connor played the piano as people were leaving

 

Baylor and I drove back to the church yard but they were not done filling the grave. 

 

Then we drove past the farm.  It has changed a lot since Grandma moved out.  The family took their time adding on and did not move in until December 2011.  They bought the farm in 2009. Thankfully they are still farming it and have added the horse pastures where we used to grow black raspberries and corn.  Heather and Bob will not go to see it because they want to remember it the way it was. 

 

But I remember how it was. 

 

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On the way out of town we stopped at the light at the square.  We were next to the Red Lion Historical Society. Grandma and Grandpa were very active with establishing the building and donated items to the society.  I even had two post cards on display that I had purchased at an antique store in Lancaster county.  They were addressed to a family in Red Lion in the early 1900's.

 

Baylor feel asleep on the drive home and at 8:15, he is still in the same place.  I guess I will have to take him to bed soon.

 

This was the last Christmas Grandma spent outside the nursing home.  It was the first one after Grandpa died and she was still pretty with us.  She was a good and kind woman.  She may not have had the life she wanted, lived on a farm her entire life and worked hard, but she made the best of it.  I love you Grandma.